I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Randomize
