i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
