Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
