yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
