you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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