It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
