when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
