i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
