You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Randomize
