I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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