I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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