I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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