their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
