so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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