Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
