the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize