dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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