TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
