Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
