I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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