I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
