What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
