I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
