He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
