Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
