did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
