Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We left the knife in your bed.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize