i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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