you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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