do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
