This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
