Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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