Where is the hickey?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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