I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
