the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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