Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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