You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
