school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
