You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
