An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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