Where is the hickey?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
