uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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