Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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