I'm going to jail i love you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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