well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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