i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No subtext here. People are naked.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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