why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
