I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize