She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
