i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
