I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
