I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
