Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
