is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
