my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
there is glitter all over my balls
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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