There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
