I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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