When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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