Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
God, you're like boner-b-gone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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